I almost had a Nicky Winmar photo moment. It was after the semi final between St Kilda and Melbourne at the MCG in 1998. Led by Jeff Farmer with four goals, the Demons won by 51 points and put the Saints season to an end.

We were in the press box and I had been chatting to Martin Flanagan from The Age. “Always go to the loser’s room,” he said, “That’s where the stories are.” We headed off. I noticed Flanagan, the best footy writer of them all, was carrying just a scrap of paper and a pen. So impressive. I’ve since reflected he was probably cursing himself for leaving his notebook at home. Or maybe he left it on the tram – how Melbourne would that be!

The first person we saw as we entered the change rooms was Nicky Winmar. Sitting against a wall. All alone, his team mates were in the main change room. There were tears in his eyes as he tore tape from his shoulders and knees and whatever else needed to be held together. He was buggered. Finished. He’d just played his last game for St Kilda, that was obvious.

There was the story. I had a camera in my hand but couldn’t take the photo.

Coach Stan Alves spoke well. He was sacked soon afterwards.

Nicky Winmar My Story (written with Matthew Hardy) is honest, devastating and funny. The sections on the WA Government policy that herded people like the Winmars in Pingelly into “Native” reserves and removed children from their families is brilliantly put together. 

Winmar experienced many life-changing moments, from his move to Perth to play with South Fremantle in 1983 and onto St Kilda in 1987 but nothing could have prepared him for the events at Victoria Park on 17 April 1993. The photo by Wayne Ludbey of The Age of Winmar raising his jumper and pointing at his skin brought the behaviour of Collingwood supporters on that day into stark horrible focus. 

We think we know what happened that day but it’s harrowing to be taken through what Winmar and team mate Gilbert McAdam endured. Even in the aftermath, in those days before social media and mobile phones, people took the trouble to hand deliver abusive letters.

Why? I didn’t say anything bad about anybody. I didn’t do anything bad to them. My actions spoke louder than words. I said a positive thing about myself, in response to them saying negative things about me and my family. Am I supposed to just take that abuse? I mean, how are they more angry than I am in that situation?

It’s no surprise that music was big in family of Neil Elvis Winmar, in fact The King even managed to get Nicky out of a sticky situation in 1977. Winmar was expelled from the high school in Pingelly for, to quote Bob Dylan, “Something that he never done,” – though he does admit to doing some ‘lesser stuff’. 

Luckily for me the expulsion took place the day after our Lord and Saviour Elvis Presley died, so Mum and Dad didn’t seem to be as upset about my news as I’d expected. I suspect Mum barely heard my announcement anyway, due to playing Elvis’s gospel version of ‘Amazing Grace’ at full volume about a thousand times in a row. If ever you feel like a cry, give it a go.

• Dale Kickett and Nicky Winmar were team mates at St Kilda and were both named in the Noongar Team of Champions at Subiaco Oval in 2017 (Kickett missed the Victoria Park game due to injury)

Winmar says seeing The Highwaymen at the Melbourne Tennis Centre had a major impact on his life and there are also references to Shane Howard and Goanna, Dan Sultan, Painters & Dockers, (Senator) Adam Briggs and A.B. Original, Archie Roach, Baker Boy, King Stingray, Merle Haggard, Hank Williams…

While growing up a in a music loving family helped shape Winmar, his now deceased parents were also his biggest footy supporters. Neal was Nicky’s first and most influential coach (and biggest critic) while Meryle was convinced her son would be killed in every game he played but was proud of his success. That Neal would die on the eve of his son’s appearance in the 1997 AFL Grand Final adds an unimaginably somber note to the story.

Winmar is open about his own failings but also aware of his talent and achievements. It’s an irresistible combination. Despite all he has been through there’s an air of forgiveness in this story. It appears to me that part of Hardy’s role was to fill in some of the finer details – footy historians and nerds will not be disappointed.

Make sure you read Nicky Winmar’s story.

My Story. From Bush Kid to AFL Legend by Nicky Winmar with Matthew Hardy is published by Allen & Unwin.

Fact check: for the second edition the publisher might like to check the section about Geoff Marsh. He’s seven years older than Nicky. Maybe it was some other kid at school who was good at cricket.